May Thoughts

Spring has sprung and during the warm-up to summer, my brain has started functioning again...

• Those warnings they have at the beginning of TV shows are starting to border on the ridiculousness. Why don't we just create one generic warning...

Warning: The content of this program is likely to offend someone some of the time. If you are a human of average intelligence of any age, you shouldn't watch this program some of the time.

• Life is short -- maybe 5' 4" at most.


• All referees seem to wear those black-and-white striped jerseys, almost like a zebra. Is the uniform to help confuse predators because they'll blend into the shadows?


• Clicks run clockwise -- coincidence?


• Do people who live in Dawson's Creek walk around humming that theme song all day?


• When alphaghetti was being tested, it was called beta-ghetti?


• How much longer can GM last? You know a company is in trouble when they have to guarantee their warranty.


• Technically, you cannot run like the wind. You can only blow like the wind.


• One day I'm going to be rich and rule the world. At the rate things are going with the economy, I'll only need a few thousand dollars.


• I'm a cool guy trapped in a nerd's body...and clothing...and glasses...and pocket protector...and...


• ...for some strange reason, he got in the car. And let that be a lesson to you. Never get in the car with a strange reason. Only if you know the reason should you get in.