I visited a COVID clinic to get tested. Courtesy of a medical app I was able to see the notes the doc left regarding my visit. These are the notes with my comments interrupting in italics.
Nasopharyngeal aspirate swab as per IPAC/Public Health
Yes, it was a painful as this sounds
The patient has been instructed to return home for self-isolation x 14 days (instructions written out and given)
I guess he gave this to me with invisible ink...on invisible paper. He neither said this nor gave me written instructions.
They should await call from public health with follow-up of results and Should they develop worsening SOB,
...you calling me an SOB??
dyspnea,
I ordered that from McDonald's the other day with large fries
cough or fever, lethargy or inability to tolerate PO intake
I hate it when my PO intake sucks
then they should call public health so that they may be brought to ED
I take pills for ED
for reassessment. The patient has been asked to follow up with their primary care physician in 2-3 days for reassessment.
...this must also be on that invisible piece of paper...
I should get my results back in a few days. Can't wait to read the results. It'll probably tell me I tested negative...for malaria....