Ahhhh...Autumn is finally here with the leaves changing colours faster than the bruise I got on my knee after falling down the stairs. So as the leaves fall and the cold weather sets in with a blustery breeze and the geese honking overhead, I leave you with these warm, hearty random thoughts to cozy up to and think of the renewal of spring.
...damn, I should be writing Hallmark cards.
- In modern courts, things are no longer on the record. They're on CD.
- Girls get pinkeye. Boys get blue-eye.
- Rich fish hire mermaids and merbutlers.
- I've invented a microwave uterus. Now you have your baby in 6 months instead of 9.
- I'm so embarrassed. I was mixing my metaphors and I'll be damned if I forgot to add yeast. Now my metaphors won't rise to the occasion.
- How can you tell when blue cheese has gone bad?
- I don't use a ruler to measure. I use foot-long hotdogs. How tall am I? Almost 6 hotdogs.
- Have you noticed how your deodorant eventually takes on the shape of your underarm? I think that's very useful to help a coroner identify the body.
- For all those who can't make a decision: May the fence you're sitting on have barbed wire at the top.
- So I'm going around in circles spinning my wheels. I'm probably spinning my wheels because they ARE circles. If they were squares there'd be none of this spinny-circle business
- I think there should be a law that states whatever button you push in an elevator, you must get off on that floor.
- Evergreens aren't against wearing fur in the winter.