For me, spring always begins based on one clear sign: When I see the Canadian geese flying back into the city. These animals have been doing it for thousands of years. If there's anything out there that knows when it's warming up, it's these guys. So when I see those little "V" formations, and birdshit on my car, I know spring is around the corner, and all I can say is I'm seeing those geese everywhere...and there's shit on my car.
I'm always amazed about the geese, though. I mean they fly all that way down south to escape the cold for a good 4-5 months, but they never seem to come back with a tan. How do they manage that? You'd think they'd come back sporting a tan, wearing flip-flops and a hat. You'd hear them in the fields and on the ponds joking about how "Bob kicked that hunters ass," or how "Jake got soooo drunk, he made out with a swan."
In any case, I did manage to conjure up a few thoughts for this lovely Thursday:
- I drink pro-biotic milk and eat pro-biotic bread. I'm going to ask my doctor to give me some anti-biotics. I want to see who wins.
- What is this "All that and a bag of chips" thing? Since when did a bag of chips become so damn important? They're fried potatoes.
- Ever notice stage hypnotists use the phrases "Cluck like a chicken" or "Bark like a dog"? Do they have to clarify what animals make those sounds? Are they concerned someone may bark like a bird?
- Have you ever been singing in the shower and you're belting out a note and you get a mouthful of water and start gasping and choking for air and feel like an idiot after and feel thankful that no one was around to hear it? Yeah, me neither.
- Sleeping is just a really, really long blink.
- My mind is elsewhere -- I think it's in Florida with my relatives.
- Why is the ocean so polite? Because it's always waving.