Wednesday, April 23, 2008

That Was a Close Shave

I was shaving this morning and decided to read the label on the tube (yes, it's a tube) of shaving cream. I will say upfront this particular brand (which I will not name) is by far the best shaving cream I've ever used giving the smoothest shave without any irritation or sensitivity.

Now before I continue sounding like a commercial, I was actually astounded by what I read on the label. So much so, I have to make fun of it here. Once again, I love the product, but apparently this product's marketing team was hired away from NASA and Microsoft...

Enjoy shaving with our multiple award winning AlphaGel Shaving Software.
-- Yes, they are calling it "software". It's shaving cream, folks. It does not help you write documents. It does not help you clean up your pictures. You put it on your face. And my apologies, but I must have missed the 20th Annual Shaving Cream Awards, so I'll trust that you won something. They have awards for shaving cream??

AlphaGel Shaving Gel employs SSE,™ our unique Shave Surface Enhancing technology, with DDS™ (Dual Delivery System)...
-- Ok, once again, we're still talking about a shaving cream. Any shaving cream that uses acronyms has a problem -- let alone having two of them in the same sentence! And come on, can't you just say: "Our shaving cream delivers a smooth shave?" Do we need to talk about a technology? Are there microchips? Do you need RAM and a hard drive? Can it connect to my router? If not, then please don't use that word.

Pre-shave, prime face for a superlative shave with K-1ST180G Face Wash. Post-shave, protect face from UVA/B rays with K-24SPF8 Moisturiser.
-- Are these part numbers for the shuttle? "The shuttle Endeavor was delayed from launching today due to a part malfunction in the booster rockets. The K-1st/180G will have to be replaced and take up to two weeks." How does anyone even remember these product names?

Now I'm no marketing guru, but shouldn't the "hype" around the product be at the same level as the product itself? In other words, this is a simple product with a simple purpose. Can't we just say it shaves well? Do we need it to have a technology and software? Do we need to give it weird code names?

Once again, in my experience, this product is the best -- at least for me. But geez, I get the impression if people read the label, they'd be afraid to try using it because they might break something or need special equipment.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to put some B-94X turkey on a slice of Ultra-QB White Bread for my dinner.

1 comment:

Canadian Girl said...

HAHAHAHAH. It's true. They have gone weird when it gets to this type of thing. Remember when I told you about the pregnancy test? They marketed it "the most advanced piece of technology you will ever pee on" or something like that.

They are just trying to make their product seem better then the other product and as a result they are forced to use words like "technology" and "advanced system" and all this stuff.

My question is what words are going to be used to beat that product. Maybe instead it will be "the fastest techology that works instantly" LOL.