Wednesday, May 18, 2011

May Randomness

Editor's Note:  Please see the post below for a more serious update

Well it's been a rough month or so (see note above to direct you to blog below which will then bring you back here where you can then continue -- I'm just cool like that).  In turn, I've taken some time off from random thoughts and thinking in general.  This is my first post since the accident so be nice.  Odd that my brain so easily shuts off like that.  You'd think I'm a man or something...

  • It's odd that pain killers don't hurt given that something is being killed.  It certainly sounds painful.
  • The way gas prices are rising, soon it'll be cheaper to just buy a new car fully gassed up and just throw out your old car.
  • Is it weird that call centre job interviews are done in person instead of over the phone?
  • Why is it that people are deathly afraid of spiders, but not octopii?  You never hear anyone complaining about being scared of them.  Aren't they just bigger versions of spiders living in the water?  That'd creep my out way more.
  • If one goes off on a tangent, what were the on in the first place?
  • Be true to yourself.  Be false to others.
  • I bought 2-D glasses.  Now everything is skinny and flat.
  • Dear Mr. Trump:  Shut up.
  • Dear Mr. Schwarzenegger:  Not every body part deserves a workout.  And when it does, stop using a spotter.
  • Dear Ms. Lohan:  Please tell me this is all just "research" for a new role where you play a stupid defendant that keeps fucking up her life doing stupid things.
  • Dear Mr. bin Laden:  I've got a package for you.  Air mail.  Mind if I drop in?
He said, she said

She says: We're just friends.
What he hears: I'll never fuck you.

She says publicly: We're just friends.
What he hears: No one in this group will have sex with me.

He says: Let's go out for dinner
What he's thinking: Afterwards, hopefully I'll get laid
What she's thinking: *Sigh*, he wants to get laid

She says: I'm hungry
What he's thinking: So make yourself something to eat!
What she's thinking: The bastard better take me out for dinner

She says: We need to talk
What she means:  You need to listen
He says: We need to talk
What he means:  I need to go out drinking tonight, and I want to bribe you with something first.

She says: Let's go for a walk
What he hears: I want to isolate you from any and all possible distractions so we can talk

She says: Let's get a dog!
What she means: I need you out of the house at least 1 hour each day so I won't go insane

2 comments:

Jupiter_Jazz said...

Giggles...

Hey, my mom is afraid of octopii! So there. I don't know what that proves. :|

You=funny.

Jupiter_Jazz said...

I especially enjoyed the bits about 2-D glasses and Mr. Trump.

<3