Thursday, March 3, 2011

March madness

Not only do I offer randomness, I offer some madness as well.  It IS March afterall.  What shall I talk about that might have to do with madness.  Hmmmm...*turns on the tv* -- nope, nothing new or exciting on there...
  • Everytime I see a tub whipped butter I want to tell it not to give up
  • Charlie, I told you:  Shhhhhh!  You had to talk, didn't you.  "I'm on a drug.  It's called Charlie Sheen."  No, no you're not, Charlie.  Try again.
  • And now Charlie Sheen wants to sue CBS for 'mental anguish'.  That's like Hannibal Lecter suing his victims for indigestion.
  • Reports are Charlie Sheen's twitter account set the Guinness World Record for fastest time to gather 1 million followers.  To celebrate, Charlie promptly drank the Guinness.
  • Me visiting a psychic:
*I sit down*
Psychic: *stares*
Me: What?
Psychic: *stares*
Me: What?!
Psychic: You're gonna die within the week. I'll charge you half-price for this session
  • Rather than hearing music when you're on-hold, I think you should hear a recording of someone typing on their computer talking to their colleagues about how they don't want to take the next call.
  • Can someone have a fever in a hot place, like Florida?  How can you tell?  "Hey, I think I have a temp of 102.  Then again, it's 105 outside." 
  • If you get half-baked you can fry your brain. 
  • True story.  A recent dream I had:  Diane Wiest was dressing me up in a ball gown to help 'soften my shoulders' before appearing on a newscast with Colin Mochrie.
  • My plan is coming together, just as I planned.
  • My comb's teeth need to be flossed
  • Where there's smoke...there's me cooking.
  • Heya is for horsesa

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