Friday, February 25, 2011

February Randomness -- the shortest randomness of the year

Well February will be wrapping up in a few days.  I love Feburary because it's March that comes right after it.  March means:  warmer weather, my birthday, and St. Patty's Day.  All have one thing in common:  more drinking.  'Nuff said.
  • I'm forming a cult, but only of pregnant women.  I suspect the cult won't last too long --  9 months tops.
  • I set my cellphone to vibrate and asked my friends to send me messages using Morse code.
  • Who decided to make this Captain Crunch guy a captain? Exactly what army is he in?
  • I get the impression poutine was invented by some guy who barfed after eating fries and washing it down with milk.
  • Rather than a countdown before launching the shuttle, it should be like at amusement park rides:  There should be one dude standing by the shuttle door giving a thumbs up to some guy down below who has a big, red button that he pushes.  And as the shuttle launches, they should blast some annoying rock and roll for 3 minutes.  Side note:  They'd always have to get a new guy to give the thumbs up for each launch.
  • Speaking of the shuttle, during the countdown, they hold the countdown at 9 minutes for 1 hour...and countdown until they start the countdown again.  Seriously.
  • My perspective on life requires 3-D glasses.
  • The camera adds 10 lbs, and subtracts 2 inches -- at least that's what I keep telling myself.
  • Only people with narcolepsy can truly say they fall asleep
  • True story:  Russia has announced they will no longer consider beer to be a food.  I believe the only places left that do consider it a food are Northern Ontario and Rush Limbaugh.
  • I'd like less drama in my life.  I'll take more comedy with a touch of action/adventure and horror.
  • Charlie:  Shhhhhhhh!  You speak again and you're getting a time-out and no pornstars for 1 year.  Get some help before you end up on an episode of Cops playing yourself.
  • Don't you hate it when you close your car door and it closes halfway in that semi-closed position, especially if you locked the door before closing it?  Then you have the choice between having to unlock, open, relock and close the door or do that body-slam into the door.  I prefer the body slam method, which is one of the most violent things you can do to your car.  Then you have to calculate your height and weight before ramming into the car door -- you wouldn't want to seperate your shoulder or break the car window.  That'd be embarrassing to have happen...again.

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