Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Holiday Randomness and Holiday news

Happy 2011!  Do you say Happy New Year or Happy New Years?  I have no idea, so I'll wish everyone both.  It's been a busy holiday season, or Christmas season for all you folks that have finally broken out of the "I must be politically correct" mode.

A few new thoughts and comments about the news to start off the new year(s) properly...
  • The first 15 minutes of a ballet should be a sneak preview of upcoming ballets.
  • Get this:  Chernobyl is opening the doors to tourists.  Who's going to go there?  Who exactly is thinking:  "Well gosh, we could go to Disney again this year, but been there, done that.  Let's irradiate ourselves instead!"
  • I was using my snowblower a few weeks ago and the damn thing only blew the snow like 2 feet in front of me.  That's when I realized the further the snow gets thrown, the more of a man I feel like.  "Yeah!  See that!  That's me!  I threw those 2 tons of snow 50 FEET away!  Grrrrr!"  Instead, plop!  2 feet in front of me.  Felt like I had some sort of erectile dysfunction.  My snowblower went flaccid on me.
  • So the Canadian government is thinking of ending production of the penny.  The reasoning is no one seems to be using the penny anymore.  Penny for your thoughts.  Don't have that either, eh?  Thought so.
  • Mark Zuckerberg -- founder of Facebook -- was voted as Time's Man of the Year.  Dislike.
  • I have exit-stage-left fright
  • I'm afraid of those smart phones and iphones with touchpads.  I can never get them right.  Do I want to scroll or touch?  Well don't I have to touch the thing to scroll?  How does it know if I'm touching it to scroll or touching it to touch?  It just confuses and intimidates me.  And it sounds dirty.
  • A retard is someone who's been tarded before.
  • The nice thing about winter:  give it a day and your dog's shit will freeze on your lawn -- way easier to clean up that way.
  • My homemade cookies are made in someone else's home.  They're way better.
  • A small town in Alabama, a reported 5,000 birds literally dropped out of the sky dead on new years eve.  As a response, the town has reportedly cancelled next years New Years Eve All You Can Eat Baked Beans and Onions Town Festival.

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