Monday, July 6, 2009

Random Thoughts

A few thoughts crept into my mind the other day. They crept because random thoughts are sneaky. I need my random thoughts to learn some self-confidence and start walking proudly into my mind. "Here I am! Ta da! A random thought!"
  • I think tightrope walkers should have trampolines beneath them. If they fall, they'll damn well bounce right back up there and continue with their act.
  • Have you ever taken your umbrella with you somewhere because you heard it was going to rain later, only to walk outside later to find it bright and sunny without a cloud in sight? Everyone's in t-shirts, shorts, hats, sunglasses, and you're the idiot with the umbrella and coat. This is why I hate weathermen.
  • Twins are so lucky. If they're dressed right, they never need to use a mirror.
  • I love how an "Out of Order" sign taped on a urinal tends to be covered in urine.
  • Who do you call if a collection agency refuses to pay their bills?
  • There's something mysterious about white Freezies
  • Why XXX for porn? What happened to the first two X's? Well wait, there's X-Rays. So that's where the first X went. Hmmmm, not sure about the second X -- I'll have to look that one up.
  • Elevators take a lot of commitment. Ever hit the button to go to the wrong floor and there are other people in the elevator? What do you do? You get off at that floor. I pushed 6, so dammit, I'm getting off on the 6th floor. I wonder what's on the 6th floor. Maybe this'll be my lucky day. Maybe they hand out free cheques to people on the 6th floor.

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