Monday, July 13, 2009

New Random Thoughts

These thoughts actually came at the same time as the other batch from a few days ago, but I have to space these things out, otherwise I risk people being overcome by disorientation and nausea.
  • I used my night table during the day. My end tables heard about it and moved to the middle just to piss me off.
  • As reported in the news: A recent study showed that swearing is good for you. In an interview with reporters, researchers commented on the report: "Fuck you."
  • I've decided to become a door-to-door buyer. I'm going to go from door-to-door and ask people if I can buy their encyclopedias.
  • The White House today announced Obama is going to hold a press conference about how he likes to have press conferences. Has this guy actually been in the White House yet? He's on the road more often than a retired couple with an RV.
  • Understatement of the year. As reported in the Toronto Star about a man who partly severed his foot after tumbling into the well of a moving train car. The cop is quoted as saying: "Trespassing, leading to adventure, leading to ouch!" Really, eh? You think as his foot was being cut off, the guy was saying "ouch?" My comment? See the bullet point above regarding swearing.
  • Dog collars and shirt collars look nothing alike...and dog collars seem more comfy for some reason. No tie required.

I only listen to music made before 1996. Basically, anything after Ace is Base is off my playlist. I gave up after that. But here are a couple of musical thoughts:

  • Can Guns 'N' Roses re-make November Rain so it's only the last 2 minutes?
  • Let me know when Alanis Morisette stops being angry.
  • Meatloaf: Every song does not have to be 10 minutes long. Learn to summarize.
  • Today's dance songs: Take a back beat. Add a single random word. Repeat as desire.
  • Will someone on G-d's green earth tell me how MC Hammer ended up with his own show? I'm still waiting for someone to scream "April Fools!"

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