Tuesday, July 15, 2008

In the news...for Wednesday

Wow, it's going to be a hot week. I love the heat -- I feel like I'm in a sauna...but for the entire day. I noticed a few interesting news headlines over the past few days:

  • Barack Obama today was quoted as calling the war in Iraq a "dangerous distraction." Therefore he's asked all Iraqis to stop waving their arms in the air and hooting "Over here! Over here!"
  • A Hungarian Olympic canoe champion died during training today. While authorities are still investigating the cause, their initial guess was it may have had something to do with the fact the canoe was under water.
  • A report in today's newspaper is pointing out how many food companies are "shunning the use of sludge" in growing their food. How do you get into the sludge industry to begin-with? Man, you must be an amazing salesperson to go to a food producer and actually convince them to buy what's essentially the crap found in sewers. "Hey, you know, we've been lacking that one last ingredient in our corn -- maybe we need to add a little sludge..."
  • The longest All-Star game in Major League Baseball history was played last night. Additionally, the record for the longest amount of time people didn't care the All-Star Game was being played was set last night.
  • Reports are indicating the Chinese government is trying to control the weather for the Olympics, such as preventing rain from occurring during the opening ceremonies. Their strategy is to get all 1 billion people to blow at the clouds all at the same time.
  • Steven Page of the Barenaked Ladies was allegedly found to have cocaine on him and was arrested. To capitalize on the arrest, a new lyric was immediately added to the song "If I had a million dollars...I'd post bail."
  • The Canadian and US governments announced today that they're proclaiming the economy to be doing "just fine" with "just fine" as being defined as "it really sucks."
  • A small town in the US is reporting that dozens of Catfish are actually leaving the water and "walk" -- as Catfish have the ability to do. Scientists investigating the matter found they're fleeing some aggressive Dogfish left off-leash

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