Tuesday, July 15, 2008

In the news...for Wednesday

Wow, it's going to be a hot week. I love the heat -- I feel like I'm in a sauna...but for the entire day. I noticed a few interesting news headlines over the past few days:

  • Barack Obama today was quoted as calling the war in Iraq a "dangerous distraction." Therefore he's asked all Iraqis to stop waving their arms in the air and hooting "Over here! Over here!"
  • A Hungarian Olympic canoe champion died during training today. While authorities are still investigating the cause, their initial guess was it may have had something to do with the fact the canoe was under water.
  • A report in today's newspaper is pointing out how many food companies are "shunning the use of sludge" in growing their food. How do you get into the sludge industry to begin-with? Man, you must be an amazing salesperson to go to a food producer and actually convince them to buy what's essentially the crap found in sewers. "Hey, you know, we've been lacking that one last ingredient in our corn -- maybe we need to add a little sludge..."
  • The longest All-Star game in Major League Baseball history was played last night. Additionally, the record for the longest amount of time people didn't care the All-Star Game was being played was set last night.
  • Reports are indicating the Chinese government is trying to control the weather for the Olympics, such as preventing rain from occurring during the opening ceremonies. Their strategy is to get all 1 billion people to blow at the clouds all at the same time.
  • Steven Page of the Barenaked Ladies was allegedly found to have cocaine on him and was arrested. To capitalize on the arrest, a new lyric was immediately added to the song "If I had a million dollars...I'd post bail."
  • The Canadian and US governments announced today that they're proclaiming the economy to be doing "just fine" with "just fine" as being defined as "it really sucks."
  • A small town in the US is reporting that dozens of Catfish are actually leaving the water and "walk" -- as Catfish have the ability to do. Scientists investigating the matter found they're fleeing some aggressive Dogfish left off-leash

Saturday, July 5, 2008

News...and thoughts

Wow. It's been so long since I wrote in my blog. But I've been busy. Sometimes I actually have a life, though I'm not sure whose life it is...hmmmm. In any case, enough about that.

Some random thoughts on the news and everything else in life...

  • My life was going by in such a blur. Then I realized, all I needed was glasses

  • The US has the largest number of lawyers per capita in the entire world. Canada has the largest number of doughnut shops in the entire world. Priorities, eh?

  • Difference between a nerd and a geek: A nerd is someone who wears glasses and has a pocket protector. A geek is someone who'll decide to build a robot that looks like a nerd.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

More in the news...

I'm liking this "In the news" stuff. I can't help it. There's so much to comment on.

  • Republican Presidential nominee, John McCain overhauls team to stop 'unforced errors'. It's nice to know that the possible president of the United States views this as a tennis match. In my mind, he's already tripped on the net as he walked out onto the court.
  • A report came out from researches in Texas saying that eating a large quantity of watermelon can have a similar effect on the body as Viagra. Apparently, there's a chemical in watermelon that relaxes the blood vessels in a similar way as the pill. Researchers held a brief news conference to announce their findings in between orgies.
  • Officials are trying to figure out how to get 15 dolphins trapped in a New Jersey river back out to sea. Apparently ideas range from using really big nets to playing sounds of Orca whales to scare them off. My suggestion is drop a TV into the water and play reruns of Montel Williams. That should scare them off before the first commercial break.
  • A "computer glitch" this morning caused some traffic lights in Toronto to remain stuck on red for a period of 2 hours. Not surprisingly, traffic flow was totally unaffected.
  • A new study released today reported that Canada was "second last" when it came to climate policies and controls. Without missing a beat, Prime Minister Stephen Harper chimed in, "That report is totally unacceptable to us. We must work harder to be first last."
  • A US report indicates 62,000 jobs were lost in June. Luckily, 11,000 of them were recovered when they were found wandering lost in a nearby forest.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

In the news...

Well my shingles are finally going away (see previous post), so I'm able to focus again on the news and other interesting stories floating around the internet and in my mind. What a mess!

  • From CNN.com: 6 hospital workers disciplined in ER death. Nice. They've been disciplined. "Don't you ever let someone die in your ER again! No dinner for you tonight!" Actually, I believe a few were fired and a few were suspended. Good! Among the reforms agreed to in court Tuesday by the hospital are additional staffing; checking of patients every 15 minutes; and limiting to 25 the number of patients in the psychiatric emergency ward. Ummmm, how about one of the reforms being: Patients in the ER ward shouldn't die! That might be a good reform! Geez.
  • From the thestar.ca website regarding why some people liked to watch a fireworks display from a particular vantage point: "The view is better, there's more space and there are no cops," said Joel Duff, who came with four friends to watch the fireworks. "So you can drink beer," he said, "and smoke some weed." Joel Duff is now discovering the consequences of forgetting to ask, "Is this off the record?"
  • A truck hauling 12 million bees overturned over the weekend spilling bees all over the road. They were all returned to a new truck the following day. Luckily, they were all easily identified by the "Hi, my name is..." stickers they were wearing.
  • General Walter Natynczyk takes over the Canadian armed forces as of July 2nd, 2008. He was hired due to his experience, leadership, and his last name was worth the most points in Scrabble.
  • A flour mill burned to the ground yesterday. Hundreds of firefighters rushed to the scene to douse the flames with water. During the intense heat, a second call was made for eggs, sugar, butter and baking powder. The bad news is, the firefighters could not save the mill. The good news is a bakery will be opening up in the same spot within a week.