Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Clinton Vs. Obama (and McCain)

I've always found U.S. politics to be facinating -- especially during election season. Unlike Canadian elections that last 32 days and scandals occur when a politician forgets to say "please" during a debate, U.S. elections literally last 18 months with every breath weighed and analyzed and polled to death. I'm sure if Obama or Clinton or John McCain wanted to know if their campaign was appealing to 1-legged midgets living in Texas with an income over $100k, there are probably numbers on it...already.

I've particularly found the Clinton Vs. Obama situation really interesting to me. Everytime I watch the two of them debate, I almost see them more as being parents versus politicians. It's almost as if they see America, and Americans as being their kid instead of a country.

I see Obama treating America in this gentle way; trying to guide them; acting as a mentor -- arm around the shoulder telling America everything will be alright as long as they listen to him and don't stray too far. He'd like to teach America how to be independent and think for itself.

But it's almost as if he's this passive dad that'll explode if he needs to. America better not piss him off or he'll whup it's ass from New York to Los Angeles quicker than it can run to mommy asking for forgiveness.

I can see his State of the Union address now: "...and our economy is finally recovering. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of all of you and the hardwork you've done."
Leans into the camera looking stern
"But if you ever EVER talk that way about our friends in the Middle East again, so help me..."
Exhales loudly
Leans back and resumes smiling
"But remember, I'm proud of you. You're going to be just fine."

Clinton, on the other hand, I see her as a stern disciplinarian from the outset. I think she truly believes America needs a good spanking. Now. She's had enough of America's bullshit and if she had her way, she'd pass a law where every American would be spanked and sent to their room without dinner for the night.

I can see it now:
"...and another thing..."
"...enough with pissing off the UK!"
"That's no way to treat your friends! Would you like to be treated that way by your friends?!"
"I didn't think so! Now go to your room and think about what you've done and I'll come by in an hour."

John McCain, on the other hand (I might as well mention the Republican candidate to be fair) is almost like the old-fashion grandfather sitting in the corner watching Obama and Clinton trying to battle it out with how to discipline America.

He'd occasionally raise his hand and shake his head, smiling: "Bah, I remember the good old days where you didn't have to worry about spanking or yelling. America just knew how to behave. None of this spanking or philosophical crap. It knew its place and simply behaved."

I'm not going to tell you who I think should win -- everyone has their own opinion and your opinion is perfectly valid, I'm sure. What I will say, though, is I'm hoping one day America will realize it's actually adopted and search for its real birth parents.

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