Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Bingo and Airplane Food

Interesting combo, eh? Bingo and Airplane Food. I bet you're now wondering: "How on earth are those related?"...either that, or you might be wondering: "How deranged can one man be?" Either way, my answer is: they're not related at all! But sometimes my random thoughts stray in a few different directions and I just have to share them all at once. Today is just such a day...as was yesterday...and the day before...and...

Bingo

I was talking to a colleague the other day about having gone to Bingo halls on a few occasions and how annoying it was. I've never won at Bingo -- perhaps other than contracting lung cancer.

Bingo is a game of getting "close". I hate games like that. With Bingo, 5 minutes into a game you're totally focused on getting G50 or something and that's your life until that game ends.

The announcer calling the numbers knows that you're hanging on every call, and he always makes the most of it. I hate that too.

"...and the nexxxxxxxxxt nummmmmmmmmber isssssssssss..."
I lean in
"Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."
I lean in even more
"Fifffffffffff..."
I lean in more, falling out of my chair
"...tyyyyyyyyyyyyyy"
Moaning on the ground, I start to shout BINGO!
"Fourrrrrrrrrrrrr"

And how on earth do these elderly men and women, who can barely drive 10 km/h in their cars because they can't see, end up with 50 cards in front of them and manage to keep up? I'm struggling with two cards: "G. G. Where the fuck is the G?!" Meantime the announcer is 5 numbers ahead of me.

In the meantime, these folks are happily stamping away, talking, smoking and drinking all at the same time. These people have reaction speeds that rival goalies in hockey. I don't get it. The announcer says G54...

"...so I was saying to Marge..."
WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!
"...when are you heading to Florida for winter..."
WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!
"...it's already getting cold. I mean it's only 16C. Can you pass me the water?"
WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!

I think I'll stick to Lotto 6/49 where at least I can ask the machine to choose the numbers for me. Much easier that way.

Airplane Food
A million comedians have had their say on Airplane Food. I'm not a comedian, but I will also have my say. Given that I had a chance to experience airplane meals for the first time in awhile (I normally travel to destinations where they don't serve food on the plane), I got to experience the food up-close-and-personal. This will be quick, but I had to share. It'll help with my therapy.
Here was the menu of food I experienced on both flights:

Shredded meat-like substance in a broth-like substance: It appeared to be chicken in what appeared to be a sauce, but it was too viscous to really be a sauce. Plus there were things floating around in it. But it wasn't a soup. Still confirming that it was chicken in the first place.

Shredded carrots au jus: Just as it reads. Shredded carrots in what appeared to be carrot juice.

The Omelette of Toughness: It was a block of scrambled egg...or perhaps an omelette. Hard to say.

The Yellow Thing: All I can tell you is it was yellow, crumbly, sort of sweet and considered dessert.


1 comment:

Canadian Girl said...

HAHAHAHAHAH I love both posts. Hilarious.

airplane food sounds gross but yet for some reason I have the desire to stare at it and take a picture. lol