Monday, February 4, 2008

Hump Day's Random Thoughts

        I get asked sometimes if I have too much time on my hands to come up with these. I tell them "No, but I do have time on my wrist." Then they leave me alone and don't ask again.

        • When I make a mental note, I always use a mental pencil so it's easier to mentally erase.
        • I'm still trying to sort out the difference between partly sunny and party cloudy.
        • I think the Maple Leafs should go back on strike. Their record was better.
        • Being politically correct is usually neither political, nor correct.
        • I only go to Walk-in-and-out Clinics so I can be sure I can leave afterwards.
        • The Twilight Zone is that empty space between the End Zone and where the fans sit.
        • Favourite sexual act of a giraffe: Necking
        • Whenever I hear a weatherman say "There's 20 cm of snow on the ground," I remember that there's 40,000 tons of snow in the clouds that is not on the ground. Then I feel better.
        • When I'm going insane, I take a car. It's quicker.
        • I've tried to take a bath, but the guard usually stops me.

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