Friday, January 4, 2008


Now it's time to talk about two.

First, a brief lesson.

Two -- this is the number. The number 2.
To -- this is the preposition. "I want to give you this." or "I turned to you."
Too -- this is the adverb. "Did you get chocolate, too?" or "That movie was too difficult to watch."

But what's special about the number two?

It's violent: "Kill two birds with one stone." Why are we trying to kill these poor birds? Can't we leave them alone? And why with stones? That sounds difficult and time consuming. One good shot with a rifle can kill many birds. So lets go with "Kill many birds with one shot." More efficient that way.

It's dirty: "I don't give two shits." First, that sounds a bit unhealthy. You should shit, and shit regularly. Though, no one really wants you to give the shit to anyone, and this applies to one shit, let alone two of them.

It's philosophical: "It takes two." Two of what...or whom?

It's medical: "Take two and call me in the morning." I think in first year med school, there's a class called "Two Pills 101". One day, I'm hoping to see a pharmaceutical company release a pill called "Just One".

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