Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Today's Random Thoughts

  • Do firemen find it ironic when they're fired?
  • Where do they grow sod for your lawn? Isn't it just someone else's really big lawn? I guess just about anyone can become a sod farmer. I'm selling some sod. I have some in the front and some in the back.
  • Only weathermen know the difference between "Rain" and "Showers"
  • Can you imagine people were like dogs? If we wanted something, we'd just pee on it. If we were horny, any old leg would do to get off. Life would be so simple.
  • Crossed my fingers, crossed my legs and crossed my heart. One of those three doesn't make sense. Take a guess which one.
  • I'd like to think I'm a smart guy. Then I remember: "Oh yeah, I'm a guy! Nevermind."
  • I love apple crumble. That's where you have crumbled brown sugar on top of cooked, sliced apples. Personally, I just go for the brown sugar. I think the apple is just there as a plate for the brown sugar. It might as well be brown sugar on radishes -- same thing.
  • Can you imagine if an onion truck spilled it's load on highway? The police would show up to find the driver in tears.
  • I'm facinated by these people who feel lonely and then go and get like 56 cats. Of all the types of pets to get, they chose cats? So you didn't have any friends before and now you're ignored by 56 pets all at once. Nice job.
  • The next time you're in a canoe, everytime you paddle, make motorboat sounds, especially if you're paddling in the stern. People love that.
  • I've been told you cannot wear white after Labour Day, but no one has ever told me when you can start wearing white again. I've gone 15 years without wearing white. I'm still waiting.
  • I've always wondered how they put those blocks together to make igloos. My theory is there's a product called Igluesticks that they use. Though, I've never seen it in stores, so I'm just guessing.

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