Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Some recent random thoughts

  • According to the packaging, Sour Cream and Bacon Potato Chips are Kosher -- this means there is absolutely no bacon, nor is there sour cream in the all.
  • The Sun is 7 light-minutes away from Earth, meaning if it blew up right now, we wouldn't know about it for 7 minutes. So I'm not going to mow the grass tonight...I'm a gambling man.
  • A dog wags it's tail when it's happy. It also wags it's tail just before it lunges at your throat.
  • Ferrets can catch the human flu from people. A person can also catch the flu from a ferret. Therefore, do not french-kiss ferrets.
  • The grass is always greener on the other side, but they also use more fertilizer.
  • Prenatal vitamins are not safe for children.
  • When a bee gets drunk, is it buzzed? Sorry, it's a holiday. I'm allowed to ask.
  • Can soap get dirty? If so, how do you clean it?
  • Heard on the radio the other day, this ad: "Are you hard of hearing? Can't hear anything? Maybe it's time you get a hearing aid from..." I won't mention the product name. So let me ask. If you're hard of hearing, you're listening to this ad how?
  • When frogs play leapfrog, do they call it leapme?
  • When one "toots their horn", what part of their body are they tooting?
  • Having sex with three people is a menage-a-trois. With four people, it's a fourgasm

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