Well, I'm back, albeit briefly. Here are a few thoughts that crossed my mind over the past few weeks.
- Two blondes walked into a bar. They forgot to duck.
- From a current hurricane forecast: "SHEARED DEEP CONVECTION WITH CLOUD TOPS COLDER THAN -80C IN THE NORTHEAST QUADRANT HAVE STARTED TO DEVELOP CLOSER TO THE LOW-LEVEL CENTER. ONCE KYLE TURNS MORE TOWARD THE NORTH-NORTHWEST...THE VERTICAL CIRCULATIONS ARE EXPECTED TO BECOME VERTICALLY STACKED AND MORE ALIGNED WITH THE DEEP LAYER FLOW." -- In other words: "We have no idea what's going to happen, but if we use big words, it'll sound cool."
- I love baba ghanouj to the point I'm probably a little too friendly with the food. I call it babs ghanouj.
- I don't understand the concept of a belt. I'm going to go buy some pants. But rather than buy pants that fit me, I'll deliberately get ones that will actually fall right down to my knees if I even move. Now I'll go spend more money on this rope that if I tie it tight enough, it'll keep my pants from falling down to my knees. Does this actually make sense to anyone?
- One of John McCain's campaign promises should be: "I promise to remain alive during my full four year term in office." It's too bad Ronald Reagan didn't make a similar promise...
- The oldest rocks -- 4.28 billion years old! -- were found in Quebec. They were readily identified by the long, grey beards and the constant ramblings about drugs and rock and roll.
- Those yellow warning signs you see that warn you the floor is wet and you might slip? Just how useless are those? I've never seen anyone actually slip anyways. But if it did, all that sign does it tell you what caused the fall -- it's not like it prevents something. Now if the warning sign was attached to a nice, comfy mattress covering the wet floor, that's a different story.
- I wanted to buy a great dane, but I couldn't afford it. So instead I bought a mediocre dane.