Thursday, June 12, 2008

Random Thoughts for the End of the Week

It's Friday. End of the week. Start of the weekend. Going to Buffalo tomorrow. Using short sentences.


Today's thoughts...
  • In Toronto over the past week, there has been one bus crash, one streetcar crash, and one bus driver arrested for allegedly being drunk while driving his bus. These days when I take the bus, I ask for a transfer and a life insurance policy.

  • The Shuttle left the Space Station yesterday after being docked for 9 days. They actually meant to stay docked longer, but someone accidentally untied the rope and the shuttle drifted away.

  • A report came out from the US Federal Government that pot these days is 30% more potent than previously. Seriously. The report is entitled: "Whooooooooa...I need chips like 30% faster than before!"

  • I read today that shower curtains may be giving off dangerous, poisonous fumes and has bad chemicals in them. Geez, I thought that was just my feet. So I'll get rid of my shower curtain, because apparently that'll do damage, unlike my shampoo, fragranced soap, the conditioner that straightens and protects my hair, the shaving cream that softens my skin, hair gel that turns my hair so sharp and pointy it becomes a lethal weapon, and my deodorant that chemically interacts with my sweat to change the smell of it from shit to flowers.

  • Weathermen are confusing. What's the difference between: Isolated and scattered? Rain and showers? Snow and flurries? Do they have someone who's VP of Splitting Hairs?

  • A current ad mentions people should come to Newfoundland "...where there is no smog..." That's very true. The hurricane-force winds keep the smog from settling

  • Gas retailers are being probed for price-fixing. How about we probe oil speculators for signs of brain activity.

1 comment:

Canadian Girl said...

LOL I like this.

"A report came out from the US Federal Government that pot these days is 30% more potent than previously. Seriously. The report is entitled: "Whooooooooa...I need chips like 30% faster than before!"

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA