Monday, May 12, 2008

Thursday's Randomness

            As you can see, I've had a quiet week on my blog. Some things are going on that I will likely speak of next week. So until then, I'm going to pull a Johnny Carson and offer some Best Of material (in my mind) for the rest of the week and into early next week. These will come from my early blogs, and I suspect a lot of you aren't aware my thoughts didn't start this year. They actually started waaaaaaaay back in November and December. *Gasp*. A couple of thoughts for today, and then my first Best Of beneath that.

            Please check back daily, and look next week for some hopefully interesting and exciting news.

            • I've never been able to master the ability to fuse two soaps together. You know when you're in the shower and one soap is so thin, you can see through it and you try to weld it to another bigger soap? I can't seem to do it. The small soap flies across the shower stall and the big one drops onto my toe.
            • Mum's the word. Grease is also the word. I'm so confused.

            December 26, 2007

            • According to the packaging, Sour Cream and Bacon Potato Chips are Kosher -- this means there is absolutely no bacon, nor is there sour cream in the all.
            • The Sun is 7 light-minutes away from Earth, meaning if it blew up right now, we wouldn't know about it for 7 minutes. So I'm not going to mow the grass tonight...I'm a gambling man.
            • A dog wags it's tail when it's happy. It also wags it's tail just before it lunges at your throat.
            • Ferrets can catch the human flu from people. A person can also catch the flu from a ferret. Therefore, do not french-kiss ferrets.
            • The grass is always greener on the other side, but they also use more fertilizer.
            • Prenatal vitamins are not safe for children.
            • When a bee gets drunk, is it buzzed? Sorry, it's a holiday. I'm allowed to ask.
            • Can soap get dirty? If so, how do you clean it?
            • Heard on the radio the other day, this ad: "Are you hard of hearing? Can't hear anything? Maybe it's time you get a hearing aid from..." I won't mention the product name. So let me ask. If you're hard of hearing, you're listening to this ad how?
            • When frogs play leapfrog, do they call it leapme?
            • When one "toots their horn", what part of their body are they tooting?
            • Having sex with three people is a menage-a-trois. With four people, it's a fourgasm

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