Today's thoughts

• When I go to get my haircut, it's all about the scalp massage you get when your hair is shampooed. I don't care if you shave my head as long as I get a 10 minute scalp massage.
• I love how the dentist asks you to book your next appoinment 6 months ahead. It's mid-January and the receptionist asks with a very serious face: "How does July 8th at 8am sound to you?" I've always wanted to answer "Nope, I'm busy." like 5 times in a row with an equally serious face.
• Things you don't want to hear your doctor say: "Whoa! Now that's a new one."
• I hate it when someone doesn't finish their
• Do people who work at a garbage dump have waste baskets? Or do they just toss their garbage out back?
• I feel badly for pandas. They always have this happy look on their face. Can you imagine a panda that's sad? How can you tell?
• "Don't worry about that whale. It doesn't eat humans -- only shrimp." To a 20 ft, 100 tonne whale -- I'm pretty sure I look like a shrimp.