Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Longer random thoughts

I normally have these little one-sentence bullet-points. Well sometimes my thoughts are longer *gasp*. Here are a few of them from the past week that have been bugging me:

Suntan lotion
As seen in an advertisement:

A new suntan lotion (I'm leaving the brand name out), with "dry touch" technology. It's greaseless, and weightless.

Two comments: First the word "technology" should never be used with a suntan lotion. It's a LOTION. Unless you're putting nano-bots in there, I don't want to hear about it. Second, I didn't realize that suntan lotion was heavy. Is this a problem the general public is having?

"Gee, Marge, I'd jump in the water with you, but since I put on this suntan lotion, I can't move. Damn thing weighs a ton!"

I'm Busy
I have a problem that has been difficult to admit to. It has to do with the word "busy". I sincerely believe there was a conspiracy with keyboard designers regarding the word "busy", but I might be wrong. Hear me out on this one.

Type the word "busy". Make any mistakes? I do all the time. I type out the word "busty".
Why do I type out "busty"? Look at the placement of the letter "t". It's right next to the letter "y"! The conspiracy is obvious. I'll be chatting up a woman and want to ask "Are you busy?" You know what comes out? "Are you busty?"

Now I'm sure Freud is laughing in his grave right now, but sometimes a breast is just a breast. That's what he said, wasn't it? Freud, I can hear you from here. Shut up! :P

Not bad, not bad
So I was saying hello to someone today. I asked how they were doing. Their answer: "Not bad."
But wait a second -- what did we just say? "Not bad" -- that doesn't tell us a thing. I didn't ask what you're NOT. I ask how you ARE.

Can you imagine doing this at a restaurant?
Waiter: "And what would you like for dinner this evening?"
Patron: "Well, lets see here. I'm definitely not going to have the salad, and screw the fish fillet."
Waiter: "Perfect, very good sir."

If I asked you what car do you have, would you say "Not a Honda?"

So why is it acceptable when you ask someone how they're feeling? I think it's really avoiding the question when you think about it (and try not to think about it too hard).

So when you ask someone how they're doing, if they answer with "Not bad." say to them: "Cool. So you might be happy, or angry, or sad, or frustrated, or borderline psychotic with rage -- you wanna pick one of those?"

Thank you.

This has been a paid commercial announcement.

P.S.

A colleague of mine is totally into those weird, wacky and wonderfully techno-geek stuff that you see at shows or on TV sometimes. She's got a fantastic blog highlighting those wonderful items and you just have to see it.

To quote her intro: "...it will include various topics on gadgets, unique items from around the web, thoughts, possibly sports and a lot more" You have to check out her blog sometime.

http://whatdoyoucallit.blog.com/

1 comment:

Adriana said...

hahahahah love the entry today. Especially about being busy and typing busty. I've personally not done that but I can see how that happens. It could be a conspiracy. "let's see how many people we can screw up by putting the t beside the y. *keyboard makers sit back and laugh*

:) Thanks for the mention.